Plinky generally comes up with some interesting and thought-provoking subjects for subscribers to write about. This is not one of their best (by a country mile) but I've had a go FWIW. What do you think?
Confused. Well wouldn't you be if you were a third a Siamese cat, a third cocker spaniel and a third giraffe???
Imagine having the height of a typical giraffe, those long legs and a neck to die for. But the head and tail of a cocker spaniel, floppy ears and a merry, ever-wagging tail would look a little queer.
But can you imagine this animal always grooming itself, forever tying itself in knots as it tries to reach the parts that long necks will always have difficulty reaching, and incessantly 'talks' in an Oriental miaou noise.
And just think what peoples' reactions would be when they saw the Confused being taken for a walk (all cocker spaniels love to go for walks) and I imagine that a giraffe would find it hard to say no either. And Siamese cats like going for walks on leads if you train them young enough.
You throw a ball for your Confused and it gambols away across the park, scattering humans and their pets in all directions. I mean, I wouldn't want to get in the way of a beast that looks like a giraffe with a furiously wagging tail, let alone be its friend.
What would I call my pet Confused?
Mmm, 'Lonely' I think.
And that's probably why there is no such thing as a Confused.